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The Onion - America's Finest News Source

The Onion, America's Finest News Source, is an award-winning publication covering world, national, and * local issues. It is updated daily online and distributed weekly in select American cities.

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5.0 out of 5 by PressAboutUs
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Reviewed on Nov 5st, 2014
  • Man Looking For Job That Plays To His Natural Talent For Half ...

    “I've always had a gift for slapping shit together at the last second, so it'd be nice to finally work somewhere that fosters my ability to haphazardly do third-rate work and call it a day,” said Kearse, expressing hope that, unlike his last few bosses, his future employer would appreciate his in... Read article

    Published at
    Feb 17st, 2018
  • Raytheon Unveils Military Robot Capable Of Composing Poignant ...

    “With its 17.3 petaflop processor and bomb-proof titanium chassis, this robot can enter any combat zone and, employing poetic devices such as meter, enjambment, apostrophe, and symbolism, give full expression to the anguish and disillusionment war brings,” said Raytheon CEO Thomas A. Kennedy, exp... Read article

    Published at
    Feb 17st, 2018
  • Archaeologists Unearth Ivory Trumpet Dating Back To Prehistoric ...

    ... with those hot sweet swing licks before the invention of the wheel. “While it's too early to be certain, it's quite possible these jazz daddies from way back first laid down the sweet sounds that evolved into our own bip-boz-dee-boze dee-bop-biddly-bop and push-ka-pee-she-pie.” Brower caution... Read article

    Published at
    Feb 17st, 2018
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    freebase.com The Onion - Freebase

    Since 2007, the organization has published satirical news audio and video online, as the "Onion News Network". Web traffic on theonion.com amounts to an average of 11 million unique visitors per month. The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and fictional. It parodies traditiona... Read article

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    bluesky.chicagotribune.com The Onion's best innovation coverage, now online only! - Blue Sky Innovation

    When we go to that one grocery store in our neighborhood that always has piles of your print copy, we’ll be sad not to — oh wait. That store closed. See you instead at theonion.com , where we hope you’ll now be posting even more technology news, workplace commentary and big-idea-filled slideshows... Read article

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    sltrib.com Eric Walden’s NFL Four Downs: QBs get abuse both real, imagined in Week 1 | The Salt Lake Tribune

    First down Cincinnati at Chicago, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • According to theonion.com, the new “Madden 25” video game includes the “return of [the] highly popular feature from last year’s game that allows players to ... Read article

    Sports
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    quantcast.com Theonion.com Traffic and Demographic Statistics by Quantcast

    Theonion.com reaches over 4.9 million monthly people, of which 3.5 million (72%) are in the U.S.The typical visitor shops at Home Depot and patronizes CVS. Theonion.com Traffic and Demographic Statistics by Quantcast theonion.com The Onion Media Network Read article

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    reddit.com Texas fundamentalists want to teach Garden of Eden in science class : nottheonion

    The pertinent question: Are the safeguards against the wackos getting their way sufficiently strong? 5 months 5 months ago Isn't someone always doing this? This seems way too ordinary for /r/nottheonion . Yes, Garden of Eden as such is a bit extreme these days -- creationists have generally learn... Read article

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    msmagazine.com Dear Onion Writers: Sexual Abuse Isn’t Funny

    I am an Andrea Dworkin Feminist. And she, like Martin Luther King Jr. looking down on the ignorant masses holding up Trayvon Martin signs today in Washington and shaking his head in anger because Mr. Martin would be the ENEMY and part of the problem according to Mr. King, is looking at us pointin... Read article

    News blog
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    antiwar.com Barrett Brown « Antiwar Radio with Scott Horton

    Barrett Brown , regular contributor to The Onion , discusses the apparent attack on WikiLeaks by several national intelligence agencies, how hyperlinks make internet-sourced information easier to fact check than traditional media, the upcoming release (April 5 at the National Press Club) of a Wik... Read article

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    futfanatico.com Ask An American Soccer Fan: Euro 2012 | Futfanatico: Breaking Soccer News

    Posted on I grew up reading the Onion , a satirical online newspaper. One of my favorite features is when they ask a few random Janes and Joes about a pressing issue. The answers range from obscure to hysterical to spot-on. All shed light on the different slices of Americana. In that respect, I t... Read article

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    rpiprint.com News You Can Use: Print isn’t dead; it’s just evolving into something more valuable to brands and consumers | RPI Blog

    Earlier this year, The Onion (aka America’s Finest News Source) published breaking news with the headline “ Print Dead at 1,803 .” The announcement, an obituary of print that was dripping with satire, poked fun at the apparent demise of the medium. “I can remember a while back when I opened my Su... Read article

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    savvyb2bmarketing.com 4 Things Content Marketers Can Learn from The Onion's Editorial Process - Savvy B2B Marketing

    Here are the three biggest things I think content marketers need to realize: Be realistic about how long it takes to create content and plan accordingly. Don’t work in a vacuum. Find creative and constructively critical people to collabortate with. Develop a process – and stick to it. Learning ab... Read article

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    forge.framabook.org 9 Genèse de la Licence publique générale de GNU (GNU GPL)

    La mission du fichier configure est de paramétrer la compilation pour générer un programme pour le système choisi. 20. Quotidien en ligne américain satirique et parodiant de fausses nouvelles créé en 1988 ( http://www.theonion.com ). 22. Contrairement à ce que pourrait laisser penser son nom, Fr... Read article

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    wired.com Onion's Bitter Tears of Irony

    He added: "Some were confident, but others wondered, no matter how funny it is, are people ready? It appears people are. "Brilliant," said one poster on Plastic , a pop-culture discussion forum. "The entire issue is brilliant. After all the rage, unfocused anger, vitriol and plain lack of directi... Read article

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    kendallharmon.net TitusOneNine - The Onion—Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria

    Thank God for the Onion—lol; I needed that. I think you all are missing a golden opportunity…. After all, if GAFCON could meet in Jerusalem, why not the HoB in Damascus? Let’s send every Episcopal bishop to Syria, and maybe hold an Anglican Consultative Council meeting right after, so as not to i... Read article

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    law.umkc.edu Scopes Monkey Trial Satire

    Satirical reports on the 1925 Scopes Trial written by the staff of the Onion and published in Our Dumb Century. Read article

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    users.muohio.edu Clock2 Adds 1-4 (Ref.-LitCrit.)

    3. FICTION, RDE, 26/IV/01 "I Believe the Robots Are Our Future,' an editorial by Helen Virginia Liedermeyer." 5 min., 14 seconds. The Onion's Finest News Reporting , Volume One. A Random House Audiobook, RH895, one cassette. Maria Schneider as Helen Liedermeyer. " The Onion's Finest News Reportin... Read article

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